Oh, parents, parents, parents, please be nicer to yourselves and each other! (Heck, everyone for that matter, seriously!)
Throughout my pregnancy and during the first few months of having my daughter,I had different people in my life drop this comment on numerous occasions:
"It must be nice..."
At first I didn't think much of it - one of the people making the comment was pregnant at the same time as me and due within a month of me - hormones were running high, along with stress and a myriad of other things. Also, not all the people I talked to knew about the different decisions my husband and I had talked about and made when we decided to start adding to our family.What started to bother me about the phrase was the animosity I could hear and the unpleasant look I received with each repetition of those words. Like I had somehow done something on purpose just because I knew that person couldn't.
I kept my mouth shut and rarely verbally responded to each repetition, but my brain sure had a lot to say...
I'm sorry I am able to take uninterrupted three hour naps during my first trimester?
I'm sorry I am able to sleep in and more or less choose my work hours and you have to get up at 5:00am to get your kiddo(s) to daycare so you can get to work on time?
I'm sorry my husband and I decided to make less money and have me stay home to raise our baby?
I'm sorry I have more "free time" than you do?
I'm sorry your pregnancy is turning out to be more uncomfortable than mine?
I'm sorry my parents and I co-own a home and I have extra sets of hands to hold the baby so I can take a shower?
I'm sorry my kiddo sleeps through the night pretty consistently and yours doesn't?
I'm sorry our lives are different?
We all make decisions that shape our lives. We all have to live with the 'consequences' of said decisions. We should not 'punish' or put down what other people have decided to do as adults, parents, spouses/significant others, friends. We are all trying to make our way through this crazy world in the best way we see fit. My way may never be the same as your way, but that doesn't mean it is any better or worse.
Nowadays I hear that dreaded phrase less often. Thank goodness. I know I'll never be rid of the phrase, but at least it happens less often.
So before you want to throw out the "It must be nice" as a response, take a moment or two to think about it. If you are just saying it because you aren't happy with a part of your life - do your best to change it; don't judge someone else based on your standards. There's enough judging going on in this world - add joy, not more judgement. :)
